Progress in Hell

The Hellboy costume isn't coming along too quickly, but I do have some promising results on the Right Hand of Doom. I'd been stumped as to how the heck I was going to get a red color to stay on the fabric of the old hockey/lacrosse glove I'm using. Well, for shits and giggles I decided just to try the face paint that I'm going to use to get my skin color. Damned if it doesn't work. It's thick enough to fill the pores of the fabric with the first coat, and a second coat give a solid look that's definitely red but with a nice rough texture. It coats both the blue and white fabric equally well. It's gonna take a ton of it to get the job done, and I'll probably still have to figure out some way to seal it on there (I'm really tempted to try that spray on glue, but that could go terribly awry). Still, it makes me happy, since that was the biggest obstacle I was facing. For other parts of it, it looks like I'm going to have to print an iron on patch for the BPRD emblem, and I'm thinking of cannibalizing the clown shoes I used for my Sideshow Bob costume. That may come down to how well they take a coat of black spray paint.

Peep Show

Okay, the biggest thing in recent memory happened to me on Saturday. I was playing disc golf with my friend Molly...AND I GOT ANOTHER ACE!!!!!!!! Hole #5 at Acorn- I hucked a forehand that looked like it was going high, and it curved right over the basket ( :< ). But then- miracle. It hits a tree just past the basket and bounces back into it!! I then proceeded to go a little nuts, but according to Molly it was kinda fun being picked up and spun around like that.Otherwise, in an effort to keep in touch with people from Joe's I lamed out and got a myspace page, so if you're really bored (which you must be if you're reading this), check it out at

http://www.myspace.com/fatsamson

Finally, one of the bonuses of my radio job- lighting peeps on fire with a blow torch.

Salvation(?)

Well, Hellboy is now on hold. Went up to Megan and Nick's last night (where we had this sweet and easy to make taco salad- totally stealing that idea) and Meg told me that the cosplay convention was sold out. Finding out that the tickets alone were $50, I don't feel too terrible about that. In addition to saving money, it'll give me a lot more time to get the costume quirks worked out (matching dyes to skin, how to affix things, feet or hooves).

The duster irks me, though. I ordered online from this place in Texas, where the duster would still be cheaper with expedited shipping than anywhere else I'd found. Now, it turns out that the extra $10 I paid wasn't necessary. Oh, but it gets better. I'm paying $17 for 2 day air shipping- from Eagan. I could've driven to their damned distribution center in half an hour, saved the money, and had the damned coat the same day.

Anyhow, this'll give me a chance to document my progress and update it in here. The bonus of doing it that way is that any of you who are bored enough to actually read this can give me some damned feedback on how it's going. But yeah, more on that later.

Gone to Hell(boy)

This weekend I'm going to my first cosplay convention with one of the old Shackers, Megan. I'd orginally planned to go as Thor (from Marvel comics), but I was really concerned that I wouldn't be able to do a decent job on the helmet. So instead, I decided to go for something that has more work to it, but it should be easier work- Hellboy.

Now, since traffic won't pick up at all for at least another hour, here's an in depth look at where I am.

Costume Pieces:

-Duster: HB's trademark piece of clothing, I had to order a cheap duster online. I'll need to make a coaster-sized B.P.R.D patch for the right arm, but other than that it's a pretty easy piece. It should be here by Friday. If it's not, the whole damned costume is sunk. It'd better be here...

-Shirt/Pants/Belt: Plain black tee (actually, an old Joe's tee turned inside out), my black cargo shorts, and a worn out old black belt.

-Belt Pouches: HB has a bunch of these, and I'm planning to just salvage the pockets off some old cargo pants. My concern here is that they might be too light colored, but I should be able to figure out some way to dye them darker if need be. I'll also need to throw a big red circle on one of them...

-Gun: The gun should be a ridiculously large barreled pistol with an old-country look to it. I should be able to make the barrel from a cardboard tube (about the right size). I have to figure out how to smooth the outside, as well as how to paint it (probably just spray paint). The handle is going to be difficult, but I've become pretty good at carving with a hatchet, so if it comes down to it it's gonna be ten minutes of chopping followed by an hour of sanding.

-Boots: Here I face a moral dilemma. Technically, HB has cloven feet. I can try to make some sort of cloven boot, or cloven covers for my own footwear. Otherwise I can use some heavy duty hiking boots and hope all is forgiven. I wouldn't even contemplate the latter, but I'm sure making my own boots is gonna be a pain in the ass.

Body Mods:

Hellboy has a number of distinct body features: Red skin, dark goatee and hair, tail, horn stubs, and The Right Hand of Doom. If I sell these, I sell the costume. If I don't, I feel like an idiot at a cosplay convention!

Skin: Simple, red body paint which I bought in abundance.

Goatee and Hair: Another quandry- do I shave my moustache and go with a genuine goatee, or do I cherish my hard won facial hair and just cover the stache with the red skin paint and use the dark black on the rest of it. I may have to use some up on a test run and see how it looks.

Tail: This one has me stymied. I'm not sure how I'll get something sturdy enough to survive beign stepped on, the right texture to take a paint job, and "real" looking enough to get by.

Stubs: Making them is going to be easy- some spice bottle caps covered in colored ace bandage, painted to match my skin. They're the right size proportionally, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how I'm going to attach them.

The Right Hand of Doom: This is going to be my favorite piece. For the base, I went to a used sporting good store and picked up an old (either hockey or lacrosse, I'm not too sure) glove. It's articulated much the same way, and the right size. For the conspicuous round knuckles I'm going to wrap some car fasteners and stick 'em in (they actually stay in the creases without any other adhesion).

The biggest problem (and it's a doozy) is turning it from a bright blue glove to a bright red glove. First I tried to bleach it out, but that seems to be the most color fast fabric in the world (didn't even fade). I spot tested fabric dye, but as I feared it just turned it purple. Then I was hoping that I could just spray paint it and cover it over. Unfortunately, it's really absorbent, and the paint doesn't stay on the fabric and instead soaks into the padding. Once I get the color worked out, I'll have to add some "cracked" lines along it to complete.

Now, this (in my opinion) is going to sink me or swim me. Color and minor aesthetic issues aside, I'm really excited about this piece. It looks like I should be able to pull it off really well, and if so I'm gonna be pumped. But, I suppose, only time will tell...

Home Team Pride(?)

Being that yesterday was the venerable celebration of potent potables, ye ole St. Patrick's Day, I wore green. While I had many items to choose from, it ended up coming down to a choice between my Minnesota Wild jersey and my Brett Favre jersey. Both had equal proportions of green, but I decided on the Favre jersey for the simple fact that hockey jerseys get hot in a hurry.

The early part of my day (300 at the IMAX, some disc golf, and some hangin' with some people I hadn't seen in a while) went without comment. Come night, however, I met up with some people to check out the live music at the Dubliner. Most everyone is wearing green, but a Packer jersey in Minnesota still stands out. Surrounded by completely schnockered people, I'd really expected that my "traitorous" behavior would have elicited some commentary.

Nothing. Well, at least nothing negative. It seemed every five minutes someone was stopping me and giving me a high 5 or some other form of drunken approval (one guy was so gone all he could do was nod, smile, and point to the Brewers hoodie he was wearing). Granted, one of the chicks I was there with gave me guff (doesn't count when you bring the dissent) and some guys scowled at me as they went by, but that was it. Granted, I obviosly prefer the Packers, but it's almost dissappointing when you don't get chided when wearing enemy colors and instead find support.

This just continues a trend that I've noticed lately. We are the home of the Vikings, and yet you see very little Viking paraphanalia around (especially on vehicles). You do, however, find Packer gear everywhere! Now, don't misunderstand me- I'm glad to see so many people acknowledging the quality of the Packer culture and the epic status of Brett Favre. But it's still somewhat sad when the home team finds less support than their border rival.

Tag-alongs

Went out and hit Acorn yesterday, and it was busier than I'd expected. I had to wait for a couple of crews to move along, and it turns out that the "crew" behind me was a couple of kids. They're throwing from the short tee on hole 1 (the only sane thing for them to do), and as I play by they ask if they can play along with me. Since it's not like I'm going to be playing fast anyway (the guys in front of me were slugs, and so were the guys in front of them, and the one's in front of them, and so on), so I'm cool with it. These guys (Zach and Jordan, if you could get any more named-in-the-90's) seem pretty enthusiastic about the game, and I was glad to see that. They were easy to impress, too, which never hurts when you're as mediocre as I am. They played with me for the first 13 holes (Zach stopped playing at hole 5 because his hands go too cold), but they weren't dressed for the weather turning cold and snowy like it did so they headed out. I felt bad, 'cause I'd have offloaded a bunch of the discs I don't use anymore if they'd hung around. Not like I'm using 'em, and it's not like you need a top line disc when you're 10. Anyhow, it was nice to see kids getting into it, especially neighborhood kids. Makes me think they'll take care of the place better. Also, they were into wrestling, and much to my surprise (and joy) it turns out that the one and only Hacksaw Jim Duggan is still wrestling!!! That's freakin' awesome, 'cause he was one of my favorites back when I watched wrestling (mid-80's)...Good to see it, Hacksaw. Carry that 2x4 with pride!

Can't...get...the ice cream...under...my chin...

Since none of my Duluth pics turned out all that impressively, here's one of Guapo lookin' really suave...

Imagine if...

Now, keep in mind, this is a completely hypothetical situation. Imagine that someone is both hungry and in need of a shower. Said person showers first, and cooks dinner second. The urgings of their stomach have compelled them to skip any intervening steps between drying off and cooking. The first course is a seasoned pinto bean/onion side that cooks up quite nicely, and quickly. While the garlic basil brook trout is browning in the pan, said person goes to sit on their couch and watch the Simpsons while eating the beans 'n onion. Said person does not realize that the last time he or she left the aforementioned reclining couch that it had not locked upright. Therefore, when he or she goes to sit on said couch is slides from underneath them, tossing scalding hot beans and onion (with pleasant chili seasoning, no less) in the air. Gravity would soon reassert its influence, guiding the meal-to-be directly onto said persons undefended lap. This would be of great concern to said person. Why they would post such an incident on their blog, one can only wonder. Good thing something like this could never happen.

Lax Duties

Well, it's been a while since I've actually posted a picture on here, so here's a couple more from William O'Brien. Expect some Duluth pics soon...

End of An Era

Well, it finally happened- they pulled the rug out from under us at Joe's. As I'd said repeatedly, I figured we'd show up one day and the lock would be changed. I hoped to be wrong, but that was pretty much how it happened. So, damn. There goes about 60% plus of my income. I can pay bills, but here comes the Ramen. Well, and the pounds and pounds of frozen meet I have in the freezer.

So, to reminisce about the longest lasting job I've had (a whopping 3 years), here's the pro's and con's of the closing.

Con: As previously stated, there goes about 2/3 of my income.

Upper: Shitloads of free time.

Con: I had enough free time before.

Upper: Now I have some forced motivation to really evaluate whether or not to move back up to Duluth.

Downer: It was easy money, and since I haven't gotten around to padding my resume it's gonna be tough finding a job I'm technically qualified for ('cause there are a lot I know damned well I be great at that I don't officially have the qualies for) that I want.

Downer: With a few exceptions, I worked with some awesome people, and I'm gonna miss 'em.

Upper: I have to kiss ass for money- for now.

Downer: No more BBQ dungeness crab.

Downer: I had not planned ahead financially. I've got the money I need for now, but there go the plans to pick up a few new toys.

Upper: Weekends off!!! Two days to sleep in/recover from hangovers!

Upper: When I stopped over Monday to verify, I was in a highly agitated state. While I know he was just the messenger, the guy from corporate was when I focused my attention. I never yelled at him, nor threatened him- I was just pissed. Despite this, I later learned that he, and everyone else, thought I was going to end him. And making people scared is fun.

Downer: I hate job hunting.

Upper: I did find an add for "18+ chubby male underwear models." I may have found my calling...

Well, there's more on both sides, but suffice it to say I'd prefer it hadn't happened yet. I hated the job itself, but I loved the money and the people more. Meh, time to motivate...

Fun on the Job

It's great when you get scam solicited at work. We have an IM system at Metro that is supposedly intra-company correspondence only. Soooo, when someone who is obviosly not part of the club joins in, you have to screw with 'em just a little. So here's the transcript. I figured I'd post this now, because my next one's gonna have a little more hellfire and brimstone.



[8:18:24 AM] Jesús Martín Frade (DubLi) says: Do you want know details of it ?

[8:18:31 AM] Metro Networks Minneap... says: No thanks, I'm good.

[8:19:02 AM] Jesús Martín Frade (DubLi) says: Ok, buts very great. You win about 100000 usd first year

[8:20:49 AM] Metro Networks Minneap... says: That's okay. I became incredibly wealthy when Prince Gambuja of Nigeria was assasinated and his widow used my bank account to access her money. I know just work here to kill time. And I own Argentina.

[8:22:00 AM] Jesús Martín Frade (DubLi) says: Thats the best oportunity !!!!!!!

[8:22:37 AM] Metro Networks Minneap... says: You're tellling me. I'm thinking of buying Paraguay next, but I might just save up for Japan.

[8:24:11 AM] Jesús Martín Frade (DubLi) says: If you want you can see the presentation at http://www... and after we talk about it

[8:25:47 AM] Metro Networks Minneap... says: I'd love to, but I have a phobia of websites with more than one ocurrance of any given consonant.

[8:26:08 AM] Jesús Martín Frade (DubLi) says: You decide ................

[8:28:29 AM] Metro Networks Minneap... says: purple

WIMPS!!!

Okay, it's snowing. It's MINNESOTA for God's sake! We're supposed to get feet of snow at a time! But no, everyone's gotta close up shop and surrender. Seriously, y'all can close when it means that I get a shift off work. As it is, I can't do most any of the crap I'd wanted to get done today. So buck up Sally Scouts, and learn how to drive so you can still function when it's not 65 and sunny. Oh well, at least it makes driving fun...